"Terminated" - 09/20/2008

"Terminated"
09/20/2008

(Really intense dream of dying, last night.)

I was at work and something had happened to where a lot of us were getting in trouble for bullshit. I can't remember exactly what it was that they got me for, but I was soon standing shoulder to shoulder with a bunch of my co-workers who were on the shit list, too. (I think they were accusing me of lying to a customer or something like that). We were told that we were going to be fired for doing what they accused us of doing, and that being fired basically meant being lined up and shot in the head, execution style.

One of the managers held an assault rifle to us, from the front, so that no one would attempt to run anywhere, lest they be shot in a less merciful place than the head. Then, the other manager went down the row, one by one, and began capping people in the back of the head. Needless to say, I was beyond terrified. I can't quite remember, but I think I started to break down, nearly scared to tears that I was about to be executed. Ironically enough, our coolest manager was the one that was going down the line and shooting people. When he got to me, he could see how shaken I was, and he said in a low voice something about how he was going to do it in a specific spot to make it as quick as possible, and that I probably wouldn't feel a thing. Right after he said this, it felt like someone flicked me in the back of the head, and then my head felt immediately congested, as if I had the worst cold ever and my head was swelling up from the inside. My eyes began going dim, and I could tell that I had been shot and was dying. (I got that sinking feeling that seems to accompany all of my dreams of being near death.)

Soon, everything faded to black, and I was in a void - though still 'conscious'. This, I figured, was death. It wasn't "nothingness", as many assume, but an eternity inside this void, with nothing but your own thoughts to keep you company. After that, I felt the strangest passage of time. It felt like experiencing years, and a single second, simultaneously; very 'life-passing before my eyes'-ish.

Suddenly, I woke up (from the death - but still in the dream). The manager who had shot me was now standing over me and telling me to get up. He said something about how we were only 'temporarily killed'; I had been 'out' since September (this month) and it was now around March or April of the following year. Everyone else who had been killed had been revived as well. I remember feeling really broken up about the experience. I was just horrified to the core, over what had happened, and was a complete, nervous wreck. Reaching back, I felt the healing bullet wound, just off-center, near the base of my skull. I then ran out the door and got away from the building as quickly as I could, calling Tony, as well as the rest of my family and friends, and letting them know about what happened. I remember the feeling of just being extremely and utterly happy to be alive.